提供一篇英语两人日常口语对话稿， 时长五分钟， 内容搞笑一点，能配些歌词更好， 初二水平。 谢谢啦

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.Psychiatrist: I'll deal with you later.Patient: Everyone keeps ignoring me.Psychiatrist: Next please!Mother: Mrs. Jokes next door has a new baby.Daughter: What will she do with her old one?Mother: You prayed for grandma, grandpa, and Aunt Sue. Why didn't you pray for Uncle John too?Daughter: I didn't want to ask for too much.Parent: I'd like a day without punishing you.Little Mishief: You have my full permission!Sailor: I was shipwrecked, and lived on a can of sardines for a week.Captain: My, weren't you afraid that you'd fall off?Student: Could I get in trouble if I didn't do something?Teacher: Well, I don't suppose so.Student: In that case, I didn't do my homework.Jim: What's white, steep, and has ears?Tara: I don't know.Jim: A snow-covered mountain.Tara: What about the ears?Jim: Haven't you ever heard of mountaineers?Camp Counselor: How did you get that horrible swelling on your nose?Camper: I bent down to smell a brose.Camp Counselor: There isn't a B in rose.Camper: There was in this one!Student: Teacher, how can I look up a word to spell in the dictionaryif I don't know how to spell the word in the first place?Teacher: Why do they call it a Hot Water Heater? You don't need to heat hot water!Polly: Why are you eating nickels?Molly: Because the teacher wants to see some change in me.Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I can't remember anything.Doctor: How long have you had this problem?Patient: What problem?Ben: Did you hear about the new dance called the elevator?Mike: I sure didn't! What's it like?Ben: It has no steps!Mailman 1: A dog bit me on the leg this morning.Mailman 2: Did you put anything on it?Mailman 1: No, he liked it plain.Teacher: Joey, please use the word wagon in a sentence.Joey: Ok, If I told my dog to stop wagon his tail, he would still wag on.Teacher: Charles, please use discount in a sentence.Charles: Yes, ma'am. Does discount as a sentence?Teacher: Duff, please use the word window in a sentence.Duff: Yes, sir, here goes: I entered a contest but didn't window.Teacher: What do letters B.C. mean?Pupil: Before Calculators.Jake: I got an anonymous letter.John: From whom?Lenny: May I hold your hand?Jenny: No, it is not that heavy.Don: I didn't know our school was haunted.Ron: Neither did I. How did you find out?Don: Everybody's been talking about our school spirit.Brent: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?Trent: How tall are you?Customer: When I bought this cat, you told me he was good for mice. He doesn't go near them!Clerk: Well, isn't that good for mice?Customer: Hi. I'm looking for a good buy.Salesman: Oh. Ok. Goodbye.Billy: Do you write with your right or left hand?Joel: My left hand.Billy: Wrong! You write with a pencil!Jack: Did you hear about the giant that threw up?Jill: No, how'd you know?Jack: It is all over town!Pam: Is it okay to eat hotdogs with hands?Sam: No, hotdogs don't have hands!Joe: I was built backwards.Mary: How?Joe: My nose runs, and my feet smell!Mad Professor: I have made a new invention!Student: What does it do?Mad Professor: It allows people to look through brick walls!Student: What is it called?Mad Professor: It's called a window!Bobby: I've owned this car for 15 years and never had a wreck.Prospective buyer: You mean you've owned this wreck for 15 years and never had a car.Mary: Did you know they're not making pencils any longer?Sue: Wow! Why not?Mary: They're already long enough!Michael: I was on tv today.Jeremy: You're kidding! How long were you on?Michael: Not very much. When my mom saw me she just told me to get off.Sarah: Why were you late for your plane?Jan: I had to say goodbye to my pets.Sarah: But you were 2 hours late!Jan: I have an ant farm!George: Look, I just found a lost baseball.Louis: How do you know it's lost?George: Because the kids down the street are still looking for it!Mom: What are you doing?Bob: Washing myself, of course.Mom: Without soap and water?Bob: Haven't you ever heard of dry cleaning.Teacher: Say, you can't sleep in my class.Student: I could if you didn't talk so loud.Teacher: Chubb, who invented the airplane that did not fly?Chubb: The Wrong Brothers.